To pray or not to pray

Published On: November 17, 2011|Categories: MRFF's Inbox|5 Comments|

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Dear Military Religious Freedom Foundation,

Before I come off sounding like an anti-religious fanatic, let me state I grew up in a conservative Catholic family, raised two children of my own within the Catholic faith, and been an active member of the Knights of Columbus – the world’s largest Catholic fraternal organization.

Thing is, I fear I have caused a wave today at work that may take me under with recriminatory actions and I desperately seek your help.

Today our unit at Fort (military unit’s name withheld) held a potluck Thanksgiving Day lunch as we do every year. This year’s began no different than those in the past, with everyone bowing their head, while my (U.S. Army Member’s position title withheld), who is also (church title/position withheld) of a local church, saying grace and giving thanks to “Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.” Usually I go along with the others and bow my head, but this time instead of thinking of Jesus, I welled up emotionally thinking of others that had given their lives that we may not only enjoy religious freedom, but also freedom from religion. I mean, isn’t this what the Pilgrims were seeking in the New World as they sought escape from the religious wars and persecution rampant in Europe? Isn’t this what the First Ammendment to our Constitution is all about. I suddenly felt coerced against my will to comply with the others while prayer was said. I felt evangelism in a government workplace was in force here and totally wrong. I couldn’t endure it anymore and walked out of the room. I wonder how many of those in the room think I’m unpatriotic and morally deficient now.

A few hours passed and I felt sick to my stomach at the situation I was placed in. I had decided to go to my Supervisor and express my discomfort. I was even upset enough that I said I would file a formal complaint. His last words to me before I left work at the end of the day, was I’m to see the (Senior Army supervisor’s title withheld) first thing in the morning. This is the same person that requested prayer be said in the first place! I’ve already been told by coworkers that if I don’t like the prayers then just leave the room. I feel so demoralized and ostracized already, I can just imagine what will happen when the news gets around and what holds in store with the (Senior Army supervisor’s title withheld).

Am I wrong about prayer in the workplace? What about people of other religious convictions, what are they supposed to do? Just stand up and silently bow their heads? Or, meekly walk out with tail between legs?

Please advise I don’t know where else to turn.

Yours truly,
(U.S. Army Member’s name, rank, military unit and phone number withheld)

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5 Comments

  1. Carmine Wiggins November 17, 2011 at 5:05 pm

    You shouldn’t have felt bad at all and just walked away with out thinking about it for a second. Everyone knows that 99% of the time there WILL be some kind of supplication at an event like this…it’s what that call respecting “their” right to do that regardless about how anyone else feels about it.

    It should be left up to the individual to pray before they eat or not to avoid this situation. If you go to a military chow hall, you don’t wait for everyone to pray before you eat if that’s not your thing, so why anywhere else?

    I’d also say don’t worry about anyone else but yourself. If the non-theist won’t stand up for themselves, thats on them. Typically those that don’t complain are afraid of how others will perceive them too, and thats more important to them rather then how they feel about the actual act.

  2. Penina Scullion November 19, 2011 at 4:22 am

    Reading your words, all I could think of was all the times I had to sit and listen to the same thing in the “civilian” world (in many ways the LEO/EMS crowd is very much like the military)…years of being the non-Christian in a Christian crowd at official ceremonies, and how uncomfortable I was…over time, I mostly got past the fear of being the one not kneeling, or not bowing my head. After a while I realized those that actually noticed me were either similarly minded, or not truly devoted if they were too busy looking around.

  3. Maggie November 27, 2011 at 11:04 am

    Have you folks tried psychiatric help? No really,I am being serious? I am a baptized Roman Catholic. Have given up the religion of my childhood and still believe in God, but have come to realize since my family and friends come in all colors,sizes and religions,that I would at times be in situations that made me somewhat uncomfortable.
    I decided out of respect for people around me I care about to buck up and not whine out of respect for them. Sometimes you just need to be respectful .Most of the time I get back more than I give. You cannot control everything around you but you can make the choice to grow up and stop stomping your feet like a child. Thinking you can control others by legal or moral outrage is just not a healthy way of thinking. You are doing the same thing you are accusing others of doing to you.

  4. Yovonne Autrey December 1, 2011 at 8:13 pm

    Mikey,

    Please tell that soldier who wrote to you about this that they are not alone and that the only way to protect their rights, and the rights of others, is to stand up for them! I dealt with a similar problem back in 2002 and wound up having to take the issue all the way to the MACOM Inspector General before the situation was rectified and our Battalion Commander and CSM were told to cease and desist with the exclusionary prayers and proselytizing to unit soldiers. It is a long, hard road, but one well worth taking.

    My thanks to that soldier for standing up to defend his rights and to you for backing him up!

    And to Maggie, it is not ‘whining’ to insist that the Constitution and Bill of Rights of the United States of America be obeyed and to fight for your rights; it is what a soldier is sworn to do. Shame on you for chastising this brave soldier for standing up to the religious bullies in his unit!

    Sincerely,

    Yovonne Autrey

  5. Steve December 3, 2011 at 8:00 pm

    The Piligrims certainly didn’t come to America to establish freedom from religion. They didn’t even want freedom of religion for everyone. They were radical fanatics who created a theocracy in their colonies. They were extremely intolerant of other faiths and divergent opinions in their own community. The first American colony to be founded explicitly with religious freedom in mind (Rhode Island) was founded by people who fled from the Pilgrims/Puritans. And their reign was ended by the British Crown after the executed a couple of Quakers for practicing their religion.

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