Gordo Calls Down God's Curse Again

Friday, May 22, 2009

By Ed Brayton

Our old friend, the perpetually insane Gordon Klingenschmitt, has for a second time prayed for God to curse Mikey Weinstein. Here's the new prayer:

"Let us pray. Almighty God, today we pray your blessing upon the Chief of Army Chaplains, Major General Douglas Carver, who called for a day of prayer and fasting for our troops, then got falsely accused of violating the U.S. Constitution by the anti-Christian activist Mikey Weinstein, simply because he invited chaplains of all diverse faiths to fast and pray for our soldiers safety and health. God we proclaim Deuteronomy 23, that you will bless those who honor and obey your laws, and curse those who dishonor you, in Jesus name, Amen. "

So what is in Deuteronomy 23? Well, it's the chapter of the Bible that forbids anyone who has been castrated from entering a church. And it forbids any child whose parents were not married from entering a church too. In fact, it says that no bastard shall enter the church to the tenth generation - ten generations after someone is conceived outside marriage, their descendants can't enter the church.

It's the chapter that says that if you go on to someone else's property, you can eat all the grapes of theirs you want from their vines but you can't put any into a container. And if you go into someone else's corn field, you can pick all the ears you want by hand but you can't cut down any stalks. Gosh, that sounds a lot like stealing to me.

And it expresses God's clear dislike for Moabites and Ammonites, though he seems okay with Egyptians and Edomites. Is Gordo calling Mikey a Moabite?

Here's the punchline: Mikey is Jewish. You know, the people who actually wrote Deuteronomy.


Selected reader comments:

May 22, 2009

simply because he invited chaplains of all diverse faiths to fast and pray for our soldiers

Ironic that Deuteronomy, hell that whole pentateuch, declares that interfaith is a big no-no and capital offense. Even Isrealites who just happened to worship in a slightly 'wrong' way were not spared from judgement

Posted by: Jay


May 22, 2009

I like the way the prayer fills God in on the details of the case

Well, most of the details. He conveniently leaves out the fact that Carver called for this fast on the first day of Passover, a traditional Jewish feast day. Carver really needs to be fired, either for arrogance or incompetence.

Posted by: Taz


May 22, 2009

Let us pray:
"Today we pray regarding our confused friend, Gordon James Klingenschmitt. We pray from and invoke that wonderful and much loved nursery rhyme: "Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall; Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the king's horses and all the king's men, couldn't put Humpty Dumpty back together again." Furthermore, we pray from and apply the lessons of all of Grimm's fairy tales. Amen.

Posted by: Norm Holcomb, CAPT, CHC, USN (Ret)


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