MRFF Can Save Our Careers

Dear Mr. Weinstein,
I contacted you last year about ongoing gender and religious discrimination in my Navy jet squadron, and I wanted to update you with what ended up happening. After speaking with you, I decided to try to diffuse the situation by myself in an attempt not to draw attention to myself or receive backlash from my chain of command. Unfortunately, my attempts failed miserably, and after 13 months of terrible treatment, I was involuntarily separated from active duty. I was essentially bullied out of the Navy.

I completed Aviation Preflight Indoctrination and Primary Flight Training with flying colors. I was selected for my top choice out of Primary—I was one of the lucky few who would get to fly jets.

I reported to jet training in (date withheld), and started getting bullied about being female right away. On the first day of ground school, after congratulating our entire class about getting jets, our instructor asked me how I got there (I was the only female out of the ten students in the class). I sarcastically told him that I obviously fucked my way to jets because I couldn’t possibly be as competent as my male counterparts. He gave me a funny look. I clarified that I worked really hard in Primary to get there. He said, “Good, I just wanted to make sure.”

In (date withheld), I received a text message from another student telling me that she heard that I was going to a board. I called my class advisor to ask about it and he had not heard anything about it. Sure enough, I did not appear on the flight schedule for two weeks. I kept asking my class advisor about it, and he had no idea what was going on and was not helping me get back on the flight schedule. Finally, I got called in to stand before a board that no one had told me about except for the student via text message.

The board was about my height. I’m 5’2” which is just above the Navy’s cut-off to be a pilot. My command was trying to physically disqualify me from flying jets in the middle of the syllabus. Fortunately, I was able to persuade them that I was still safe to fly, and I was able to stay.

Meanwhile, the command kept scheduling me with this one instructor who began to give me failing grades. At this point, I knew that the command was trying to get rid of me. It was like that feeling you get when the hairs on the back of your neck stand up because you know something isn’t right. I got that feeling.

Several weeks later I discovered this instructor had written a letter to my CO dated just before my board claiming that he did not feel safe flying with me because he felt I was insubordinate in the cockpit and would not be strong enough to pull the ejection seat handle if I needed to. And, in spite of this letter, I was continually scheduled to fly with him only to receive failing grades.

After the holidays, in (date withheld), I went to my class advisor again because I had not been scheduled enough. He told me that I was doing poorly, and that I should not be surprised because women who are pushed through don’t do well — like the first female Tomcat pilot who killed herself behind the boat. I told him this had nothing to do with my being female, and that I earned my spot in jets because I made jet grades in Primary.

Word got around the squadron about what my class advisor had said to me, and I got called into the Operations Officer’s office. My Operations Officer asked me if I was accusing the squadron of sexism. “The squadron?” I said. “No.”

“Good!” he said “Because there was no sexism in this squadron.” He told me that obviously something was wrong with me, so they sent me to the flight surgeon to be psychologically evaluated.

When I reported to the flight surgeon, I told him everything that was going on. He said that there was nothing wrong with me and perhaps I did not fit in and should quit. I told him that I knew that my squadron was trying to me kick me out, but too proud and too stubborn to quit, I was going to try my best to the end.

I was very upset about everything that was going on and attempted to confide in a simulator instructor who had always been kind to me. My kind instructor invited me out to his car in the parking lot of the ground training building saying that he had something to give to me. He handed me a Hebrew-to-English New Testament. He knew that I was Jewish, and I knew what I had just received.

Shocked, I was speechless and thanked him for the gift. I went home and discovered that my Jewish roommate had also received a Bible from the same instructor. My roommate wasn’t upset, but I was. Our instructor was in the position to grade us and had put us in an awkward position with a proselytizing tool. I reported it to another instructor in my squadron who told me that I needed thicker skin.

I tried to find another instructor to confide in, so I went on a cross country in the jet with a Marine instructor and told him about the Bible that I had received. He told me that Christians were commanded to spread the gospel. I told him that it was illegal in the military, but I gave up. I was tired of trying to report everything that was happening to me and my command not care.

At this point, I hated my life in the squadron. I was coming home from work and crying every day. I contemplated suicide. I watched my dreams circle the drain. I dreaded going to work, and I was just waiting for them to kick me out.

Eventually, I failed a flight and I was sent to a board where they recommended I be kicked out of the flight program. I tried to explain to the board the sexism and religious discrimination that I encountered in the squadron, but they didn’t care.

When I went before my CO in (date withheld), he agreed with my board’s findings. When I repeated everything about the sexism and religious discrimination, he told me that I should not tell anyone what happened. He said, “Don’t make waves, (name withheld), for your career.”

Six weeks later, I found out that I had officially been kicked out of training by the Commodore. According to Naval flight training instructions, I was supposed to have a one-on-one meeting with the Commodore. I never got one, but if I had, I would have told him everything at happened in the squadron. I felt like if he had known everything that happened to me in the squadron, he would have retained me and sent me to another squadron. Instead, my naval career was completely destroyed by a couple of officers in my chain of command who had it out for me from the beginning.

Over the course of thirteen months, I was treated so poorly that I didn’t want to get out of bed in the morning. I was almost relieved when they separated me because I knew that at least my horrible treatment would come to an end.

I am a lot happier now. I’m out of the Navy, I got married, and I’m going to graduate school in the fall. I thought that I could try to change the status quo in the Navy alone, but I was wrong. I think that if I had allowed MRFF to get involved, I would still be on active duty and flying jets today.

Thank you so much for all that you do. I hope that people realize that they are not alone and that MRFF can save our careers. I learned the hard way, but I hope that people can see that MRFF is there prevent this from ever happening again.

Very respectfully,

(name and location withheld)