contribution

I will try to get a contribution sent off to you. Tonight I will take a major s__t, find an appropriate
mailing bag and get it off to you.

(name withheld)

Dear Maj Shit,

Forgive me for using your full name. I’ve been asked to respond to your email on behalf of MRFF and, I must say, based on scientific evidence, the fertilizer and farming effect, from phosphorus to magnesium and beyond, of the donation you’ve offered would certainly exceed any other contribution your level of extreme poverty could afford.

On behalf of MRFF, I thank you.

Sincerely,

A staunch MRFF supporter, US military veteran, and one who is pretty sure you won’t really understand this message. Too sad, really.

Dear (name withheld),

Thank you for your E-mail to MRFF. It’s nice to know we are reaching even the bottom of the human scum bag barrel with our message of religious freedom for all armed forces members.

A would advise you not to be disappointed with the bag of s–t you intend to send as it may be difficult to get it to come out of your ass given the number of times you have been poked there by various associates.

I’m sure a free tube of anal lubricant is available to you from the church you attend as they always have a good supply on hand for use by church personnel in charge of youth services.

Have a nice day.

Rick Baker
Capt. USAF (Ret)
MRFF Volunteer
Chief of Butthead Mail Response