Neither a detractor nor a supporter, but I do have a question…

Published On: February 10, 2011|Categories: MRFF's Inbox|1 Comment|

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Mr. Weinstein,

I am somewhat familiar with your organization and recently became aware of the lawsuit that was filed on behalf of your group against the Academy regarding the upcoming prayer breakfast. (It is also my understanding that the lawsuit was just dismissed by the court in Denver on February 8, 2011)

Since I am the spouse of an Academy grad (1979) and the mother of an Academy grad (2004), the subject of this debate is of some interest to me. First, the question- During your tenure at the Air Force Academy, were you ever forced, coerced or cajoled into attending any kind of religious service? Upon graduation and during your tenure as an Air Force officer, were you ever forced, coerced or cajoled into attending any kind of religious service?

(NOTE: I get the whole ‘Jewish fish swimming in a Christian sea’ thing. As the spouse of an Air Force officer…28 years to be exact–I attended numerous military events and functions at which the base chaplain or a designated official began by offering a prayer or invocation….and yes, it was always a non-denominational prayer with Christian reference. No debate there.)

The reason I am asking my question is this…both my husband and son are Catholic. My husband admitted that while he attended church regularly in his home town in Pennsylvania, once he arrived at the Academy, he attended Catholic mass exactly two times at the Academy chapel during the entire four years he was a cadet. My son, who also attended church with our family up until he reported to the Academy in June of 2000…..never ever attended a Catholic mass at the Academy chapel. Never. Not once…not one time. During his freshmen year, he was a member of the saber team and was asked to participate as a saber bearer at several military funerals conducted at the Academy. That’s as ‘close’ as he got to attending church as a cadet.

Furthermore, I asked both my husband and son if they were ever forced or coerced to attend church or participate in any kind of religious ceremony during their time at the Academy. They both said NO. Church attendance was optional and those who did not attend were never admonished in any way whatsoever. I also asked both my husband and my son if either was ever threatened with retribution by anyone at the Academy (cadet or officer) for non-church attendance. Again, both said NO.

Therefore, if church attendance is optional and the upcoming prayer breakfast is optional, I am curious as to why your organization is so vehemently opposed to the event? If there is clearly NO mandatory attendance requirement and no retribution action will be imposed for those who don’t attend, why do you care and in what manner does a prayer breakfast at the AF Academy impact you or your organization?

(name withheld)

See below for a continuation of this exchange between (name withheld)
and Amanda Weinstein, Mikey Weinstein’s Daughter-In-Law


Dear (name withheld),

Thank you so much for taking the time to reach out to MRFF. I am Mikey’s daughter-in-law and also a 2004 graduate of USAFA. I also happen to be a christian, specifically a protestant. I would have to say I had a somewhat similar experience as both your husband and your son. Thus, I completely understand your question and concern and I think I understand where you are coming from. This is not the first time we have had this question. However, I had a similar experience at USAFA as your husband and son up until the point I met Casey Weinstein (now my husband and Jewish). A fish doesn’t see the water in which it swims. Similarly, many Christians can’t see the hostile religious environment staring them right in the face. Fish don’t understand how any other creature could struggle or even drown in the environment they thrive in. In basic, when I chose to march off to services, I never thought twice watching the other flight march off being called “heathens”. Yes, the “heathen flight” included many Christians and non-christians alike, but that word means something very different to an atheist or especially to a Jewish person. A simple joke starts to resemble the terrible jokes and depictions Jewish people have had to endure from Christians throughout history, a history I had shockingly little knowledge of (but every Jewish person knows as if it is etched on their consciousness). I didn’t notice that when our commanders or the academy in general announced Christian events that it was perceived (rightfully so) as an official endorsement. But, I did know that in the military events that were encouraged or endorsed by the commander had the significant undertone of mandatory. I still thought it was fair because any religious group could advertise their events in this manner. I did not realize that the mere idea of proselytizing and advertising something so deeply personal as religion is so inherently offensive to many many other religions including some Christians. I didn’t know that like the terrible jokes, there was a history there too. Jewish people know a history of forced proselitization and forced baptisms of their children under threat of death. But it didn’t start with the threat of death. It started with a joke or a suggestion and continued only because others silence allowed it to. I would say there are a lot people that don’t know and a lot people like your family don’t know. Not because you or your family is in any way ignorant or not empathetic, but because it is not etched in your consciousness like it is for so many others because it has never had the same life and death importance like it has for their family members who still walk around with numbers tattooed on their arms.
I don’t know what your husband did or did not see, but I do know what your son saw and failed to speak up about or at least failed to notice. Your son failed to notice a commander, General Weida make EVERY 4 degree yell “rocks sir” whenever he said “airpower” in front ot the entire cadet wing which he told them referred not to our awesome Air Force but the fact that “Jesus is our rock, sir”. Your son failed to notice formerly stark white military halls and Mitchell hall flooded with advertisements for “The Passion of the Christ” depicting the messiah that the Jews killed. He failed to notice official USAFA sponsored cadet only screenings. He failed to notice AOC’s telling their squadron that it was Jesus that brought them to this assignment and that their success in the Air Force was due to their success in the lord. He failed to notice mandatory M5 speakers talking to us about christianity. He failed to notice Jewish cadets being harassed for attending Friday night services accused of trying to get out of Friday night training sessions. He failed to notice a cadet being called “christ killer” on the intramural sports field in front of his squadron. He failed to notice a cadet being called an “f-ing Jew” in the stands of the football game in front of the cadet wing. Your son failed to notice the wing commander politely telling fellow cadets they would be burning eternally in hell because they were not chrisitan at the breakfast table. Your son failed to notice a joke being told in noon meal formation on more than one occasion in more than one squadron. What joke? The one about how Jews are like magicians because they can walk into a building and come out as nothing but a puff of smoke. These are just a few specs in the water compared the the unending list of evidence we wish we did not have.

Hopefully, the water doesn’t seem so clear anymore. USAFA has often been called a glass fish bowl. It’s somewhat easier to see what’s going on in there compared to the Air Force and the military in general. I was still naive about another thing. I thought the Air Force would be better. I found out it was worse. I’ve lived in the world as a happy fish, but now because I am married to a Jewish man I am treated as something… other. After my classmates at the Air Force Institute of Technology found out I was marrying a Jewish man, I walked into a classroom to hear that all of the seats next to my classmates were saved. I should learn to sit by myself. In the Air Force, I learned very quickly and very publicly that if I was going to see these specs in the water and especially if I wereto ever point them out, I would be left to flounder by myself. I am still a fish, but apparently I am the wrong kind of fish.

I could go on and on and fear I already have….that is until I got out of the Air Force. The private sector and even defense contracting puts the AIr Force to shame in terms of their professionalism and complete respect of others’ religion.

At MRFF, we would rather see the specs in the water and do something about it than to swim by other creatures on this Earth that are drowning…even if that means we are swimming by ourselves.

Thank you for your time

Amanda


Amanda,

Thank you for responding…I very much appreciated reading your thoughts and the fact that you recalled so many incidents during your Academy days. Do I think my son ‘failed’ to speak up or ‘failed’ to notice those things that you took personal umbrage and offense? Absolutely not! I strongly believe that my son, (withheld) was most likely ‘oblivious’ to it and that doesn’t make him a bad or negligent person. Despite the fact that he was raised in a Catholic household and attended Catholic school (K-8), he doesn’t have any real interest in organized religion. Believe me when I say…he didn’t attend mass during his cadet years. Not once! I asked him why? You know what he told me? He said that he placed more value on getting a little extra sleep on Sunday morning than being preached to while sitting in a cold hard pew in the Catholic chapel. It was an honest answer. (Withheld) was an adult, he was able to make decisions for himself and I certainly wasn’t going to get into a silly fight with my son during any of the visits when he was allowed to come home. Your perception of religious intolerance, crude jokes, and taunting during your Academy years is obviously much different than what (withheld) experienced and quite frankly…what he even cares to remember.

Truthfully, I think he was so overwhelmed by the intense military training, burdensome school schedule and the amount of daily homework to complete, he had little time for anything beyond training, classes and homework. I seriously doubt that he spent any of his time analyzing the numerous accounts of religious intolerance that you experienced. Again, that doesn’t make him a bad person because he failed to notice or speak up. While I would like to believe he values the education he received as an Academy cadet, I know for a fact that he has very few fond memories of his days at USAFA. (Something you two seem to have in common!) Unfortunately, my husband feels the same way. (Withheld) has never shown any interest nor has he ever attended a class reunion at the Academy. I seriously doubt that (withheld) will either. Furthermore, neither my husband nor my son have expressed why they don’t want to talk about or reminisce about their days as a cadet. On the other hand, my husband’s Air Force career spanned almost 30 years and he thoroughly enjoyed being a KC-135 and KC-10 pilot and later in his career, working for the Air Force Inspection Agency where he is currently employed today as a civilian. (Withheld) is also a pilot and he is stationed at Hurlburt Field in Special Ops. So far, he has no real complaints other than the deployments!

Yesterday, your father sent me the article that was recently published in ‘The Nation.’ Please have him share the email that I returned in response. Having read the article and upon further review of the foundation’s website, I sincerely applaud the efforts by you and your family!!! The issues that your family have embraced and seek to resolve are much more complex than I ever imagined. Bringing intolerance, inequity inherent to the military as a whole, and in some cases, violence against those who choose to voice an opposing opinion to the forefront serves as a reminder that everything is not as it seems . You might be surprised to learn that I strongly believe and endorse the idea that ALL religious activity (or reference to by speech) of any kind, version, form, methodology, advertising and so on should be contained to the Academy chapel. Prostelizing in any form other than at the Academy chapel should be strictly prohibited and strongly enforced. Participation in religious activity, church service/instruction should continue to be made available to those who desire it and only OUTSIDE of the daily cadet schedule not as a part of the daily regiment. Those who have no interest and don’t participate are simply ‘exempt’ without prejudice or retribution.

Finally, military officers such as the AOC have a unique responsibility to guide and train future Air Force leaders. They have absolutely no business pushing their religious beliefs on the young men and women they lead. And that goes for the Executive Officer Staff at the Academy as well. Any AF officer assigned at the Academy (and this goes for the regular military, too) guilty of religious prostelizing in any form should reprimanded. Am I naive enough to believe that religious intolerance is going to go away? No! Then again, I’ve never be able to comprehend, ‘killing in the name of God’ as an acceptable philosophy spoken by people of all faiths claiming to be loving, compassionate and tolerant. The hypocrisy of that alone is mind boggling.

Respectfully,

(name withheld)


(Withheld), thanks so much for your support. Again, I do not think you or your family or your son are in any way ignorant or unempathetic or “bad people”. I do have to say that there were numerous very very serious violations at USAFA in front of the entire cadet wing that your son was oblivious to. There were many things that I was initially oblivious to. Imagine doing everything your son did at USAFA but add on to that constant harassment by the very people you are supposed to trust including those in the highest positions at USAFA. I don’t think it’s something you or I or your son or husband can even begin to imagine. I just hope that maybe what MRFF does can at the absolute least open people’s eyes so that they are not quite as oblivious. I hope people in the military will begin to see that there are fellow service members who on top of everything else are drowning as they swim by not noticing. They are out there right now! They have names and faces and families and many have become part of our family. At some point, claiming I didn’t notice just doesn’t cut it. My grandfather (very catholic as is that entire side of my family) fought in WWII and liberated a concentration camp that resided on the outskirts of a small town. The townspeople claimed not to notice what was going on through those chain link fences (and many probably truly didn’t notice). My grandfather and his unit forced every man, woman, and child to march through the concentration camp so that that they would start to notice and they could never again claim not to notice. Noticing is a big deal and it starts with the small stuff like a joke here and there or a military officially endorsed prayer breakfast with a speaker who is a complete military member only because of Jesus. If our own service members can’t notice violations of the constitution they have first and foremost sworn to protect and defend, what good is our military anymore?

Thanks so much

Amanda

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One Comment

  1. Hypatia February 11, 2011 at 7:20 pm

    I was deeply moved by the correspondence between Amanda and (Withheld)!! Both sides to this exchange have profited from the exchange of views. Amanda expressed very poetically how one feels when observing and being g affected by actions that others may simply not have noticed, since they didn’t directly concern them. We all need to be CONNECTED to each other.
    No [man] is an island, as the poet wrote.

    It is really hard to understand why the Adminstration hasn’t taken vigorous action to curb the abuses at the Academy, and why they are actually defending these horrors in court!

    Anyway, just wanted to express my respect and appreciation about the exchange between these two wonderful women!

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