It must be strange and lonely

Dear little Mikey (what a pussy name!) – it must be truly strange and lonely to be frightened … or let’s be honest and accurate here and use the truthful term and say you PRETEND to be frightened … by a Bible.  The mere thought stretches credulity to the breaking point.  How can anyone take you seriously?  If you came to me with your fake trembling, your dopey histrionics, your sham terror, and tried your con artist act on me, I would laugh my butt off.  Right before I told you to get the hell out of my face.  Why do people put up with such nonsense?  What kind of pussy-ass society have we become that little snots like you, craven little dicks desperate for attention, are treated with any sort of response other than having your stupid jaw slapped and being told to grow a pair and get the hell out of your panties and into your big boy pants?  It’s unbelievable.  Your parents must’ve been hippy dippy beatniks instead of real people.  My dad was a World War II vet who wouldn’t knocked me to the ground if I’d tried any of your whiny, fake oh-I’m-so-frightened lying nonsense.  And rightfully so.  You should’ve had your nuts kicked into your throat a few times instead of being pampered like a little girl … maybe you would’ve grown up to be a man instead of a simpering, pissing-in-your-pants pussy liberal.  Man, you pansy-asses make me sick.  Come on over to my house and look at my mean old Bible lying on my desk … it won’t hurt your widdle feewings one little bit, but I’ll knock your pussy teeth down your throat so fast it will make your head spin.  You’ll be cleaning shit out of your panties for a week.  But of course craven cowards such as you never take the manly course – you hide behind Big Brother’s skirt tails and demand that Mommy do all the work while you whine in the folds and peek out.  Ah, who cares?  You’ll get your 15 minutes of attention on Earth and then burn for all eternity – have fun, Priscilla!  I’m sure you’ll make a cute BBQ!
You can put me in the hater’s column – I grant you permission, and concur on the accuracy if you assess me as such.
You damn dipshit,
(name withheld)

Response from MRFF Advisory Board Member Mike Farrell

No, we won’t put you in the “hater’s column,” but thanks for the offer.

We have another column for pseudo hard-ass tough guys who rant and rage stupidly before

confessing, rather ungrammatically, that “My dad was a World War II vet who wouldn’t knocked me to the ground if I’d tried any of your whiny, fake oh-I’m-so-frightened lying nonsense.”


For those like you, we reserve the “To Be Pitied” column.


You have mine.


Mike Farrell

(MRFF Board of Advisors)

Response from MRFF Legal Affairs Coordinator Tobanna Barker

Dear  –(name withheld)

Mikey Weinstein has granted me the privilege of responding to your August 18, 2016 email to the Military Religious Freedom Foundation (“MRFF”).  I must admit that your “tough guy” act is fairly convincing.  We should probably be grateful that the fight to protect the constitutional rights of our brave men and women in uniform does not include a shouting competition, as you would surely win (thanks, in part, to the extra credit granted for pounding on your chest).


Alas, ensuring that our service members enjoy the same religious freedom they protect for the rest of us requires serious action by serious people.  We do not have the luxury of sitting at home and calling people names between naps – although, I’m sure that must be nice for you.


Our mission is not about being afraid of the Bible, as you ignorantly claim.  We demand that military leaders obey the mandates of the Constitution that they swore to defend.  We protect our protectors.  While you attempt to demean our work as “nonsense” – and, consequently, trivialize the sacrifices of our service members and their families – I assure you that you would not last one day in this fight.


It is probably best that you stay at home creating as many insults as you can with the few words in your limited vocabulary.  The grown-ups are busy – just try to stay out of the way.


Blessed be,


Tobanna Barker

MRFF Legal Affairs Coordinator




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  1. Convivencia

    Dear (name withheld) Wish I could understand what you’re saying but so many things get in the way. Let me count them.
    1. what a pussy name
    2. pussy-ass
    3. snots
    4. dicks
    5. to grow a pair
    6. get the hell out of your panties
    7. big boy pants
    8. hippy dippy
    9. beatniks
    10. nuts kicked
    11. simpering
    12. pissing-in-your-pants
    13. pansy-asses
    14. pussy teeth shit out of your panties

    Re: “Come on over to my house and look at my mean old Bible lying on my desk”
    has a certain Je ne sais pas quoi re: genitalia size insecurity. Does that have something to do with “strange and lonely?” One more thing – your use of the words “pussy teeth” definitely leads me to believe you are terrified of various things that are chthonian in nature.

  2. Connie

    I’m here to triangulate Mike and Convivencias’ comments.

    The multiple slurs, over the top misogyny, and total lack of understanding and empathy describe a person who is terrified of everything – poor soul. Like a cat whose household is moving there are changes in their world and they don’t like it.

    I wish I could say the letter written takes responsibility for their own actions but empirical data suggest they will not. In my opinion people like the letter writer are to be pitied but not tolerated. Hatred in the name of ones faith is still hate and I prefer not to participate.

  3. G

    Dear (name withheld)

    Shut up and grow up. Get an education to make up for your lack of an education.

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